Can you believe it’s already 2022? After all of the ups and downs that last year held, I am grateful that there were many lessons that I learned during it all. One of the things I learned is how important it is to stay on top of my schedule and keeping a happy flow with organization. As a full time student who works and has a decent amount on her plate, I learned last year that staying on top of my schedule and having everything I needed laid out is better for my mental health! When I have my month planned out and can see what I have to do during my day, I feel on top of it. I figured that now is a great time to put together a list of things that have helped me stay on track!
Step One: Utilize Google Calendar!
I think the majority of us have a Google account and a Gmail account! If you do, one of the fun tools that Google provides is the Google calendar. I use my calendar every day to see what I have going on and what’s coming up during my week. Another thing that I like about using Google calendar is that I can share my schedule with any organizations I am in that need it for planning, or I can share it with a family member.
I also love to color coordinate my events and tasks with the pastel color pallet and I’m obsessed! Look how cute it is!
The best part is that I have access to my calendar on my phone with the app and on my computer. I pretty much live off of my calendar!
Step Two: Try to Stick to Your Schedule!
One of the hardest parts of getting my schedule on track was actually sticking to it! I’m the champ of waking up to alarm and staring at it blurry-eyed, inching to hit snooze. But the thing I realized is that when I actually get out of bed and start my routine, I feel put together. If I wake up with enough time to put on a quick face of makeup, get my outfit together, and pack my lunch, I’m doing myself a service! I am a happier person when I am organized and it has helped me so much. Set your alarm, plan ahead, and try not to hit snooze! (But if you do, there’s zero judgement from me because I have some mornings where I do too because let’s face it, an extra 10 minutes of sleep and some dry shampoo are worth it!)
Step Three: The Final Piece
Step Three is the most important step by far! Take care of yourself!! Taking time for yourself to make a yummy meal, do a face mask, or drink a glass of wine while you watch Netflix is so good for your mental and spiritual health and no matter how much you schedule into your day, it’s important to make time for yourself! This year we are taking care of ourselves and making us a priority!
I hope these little tips help you get organized this year and find some peace! Stay groovy, friends!
I hope you are well and getting ready to put out your fall decorations! I’m so excited for the fall season this year because I really need that boost of serotonin! The weather is still hot and muggy in Oklahoma but here’s to hoping it changes soon, ha!
I made five new wallpapers this year to fit the spooky theme and hopefully get you in the mood for Jack-o-lanterns and candy corn!
These two spooky friends are ready to say “hey!” when you check your phone!
I Need Coffee…like right now
Because coffee waits for no one, especially in college! PSL with Chai, anyone?
It’s Just a Little Hocus Pocus
When you awake from your 300 year dirt nap, this cute wallpaper will be there to greet you!
I Put a Spell on You
For the withes out there, this is for you, you magical thing.
Hedgie + Pumpkings
This lil guy has my heart.
These wallpapers are formatted in 828 x 1792 px to fit most iPhones, specifically the iPhone 11. They can be sized down to fit most screens!
Happy fall, y’all! Go get a cup of coffee and get your spooky season on!
There’s nothing better than coming home from work and cozying up to good movies! This month I had a lot of down time before I changed jobs and I definitely did my fair share of streaming on different platforms! This is my list of what I streamed this month and my recommendations for you!
Hello, this is one of my favorite comfort movies! I found it on HBO Max and it put me in the mood for fall weather and fluffy blankets! Sandy B and Nicole Kidman star in this 1998 classic that spreads the love on the bond of sisterhood with a healthy pinch of witchy magic. It also brings an important awareness to being careful at what spells you cast and what type of witchcraft you are practicing. I love this movie anytime during the year!
Say his name three times and he shall appear! Hulu currently has this Tim Burton film ready for your enjoyment! Once again, another spooky film has made my favorites list. Any Burton film is a good one but I have always loved Beetlejuice the most. The humor, the prosthetics, the music, chef’s kiss!
Harry Potter collection
When I’m in the mood for a movie I’ve seen before that I can put in the background, I always watch Harry Potter! You can find the collection on HBO Max and Peacock while it lasts! I subscribe to both streaming services but I mostly watch it on Peacock! If you haven’t seen any of the HP movies, you need to at least see them once!
Leap Year has been on my list of go-to romantic comedies ever since I saw it years ago! Amy Adams and Matthew Goode star in this heartfelt film that makes my heart pitter patter. Peacock has this streaming now! Go pop a bag of popcorn and grab your best blanket!
Dun-dun-dun-dun-dundundudndun…iconic, right? The full Jaws film collection is streaming now on Peacock for subscribers! The first film is my personal favorite by far! I remember the first time I saw our VHS tape, I was terrified! The boat scene where the head pops out made my soul leave my body! I think that was my first “scary” film experience growing up! If you’re a fan of the classics, it’s a perfect time to plan a movie night with the fam!
Believe it or not, Peacock isn’t sponsoring this post (but they totally can! My email is linked *wink), they just have a lot of great movies and shows (here’s to The Office fans!). Pretty Woman is kind of intense and pulls on my heart too much..but the piano scene! Woof! It definitely rose my expectations! Funny story- kind of- when I was around 11 or 12, my mom and I went to a flea market and I saw a VHS of Pretty Woman and I asked my mom if we could get it. She said no, of course, and the woman running the booth told my mom it would teach me what NOT to do. Little did that woman know I would be an accountant (briefly), ehehe. Anyway, Pretty Woman is fantastic and you should go see it!
Yes, I am one of those people who started streaming it as soon as it dropped on Netflix! I was heartbroken with Amazon dropped it and it could only be rented but Netflix came in to save the day! It’s no surprise that as soon as it released, the movies shot to the top 10 movies on the platform in the US. We all missed the cringey and, honestly, problematic love triangle of Edward, Bella, and Jacob.
That’s it, y’all! That’s what I streamed this month! If you’re looking for a good film, or series, to spend your weekend watching, check these out!
One of my favorite things about Oklahoma City is the constant variety of restaurants and quick bites! If I’m in the mood for any type of food or dessert, I know I’m going to be able to find a delicious place in the matter of a few minutes! I put together a short list of my favorite places to eat in OKC if you are a local or visitor wanting a yummy bite!
The Hall’s Pizza Kitchen
Lord have mercy! The pizza is to die for and the drinks are always refreshing! My top two favorite slices are the Samwise (a heavenly blend of thinly sliced roasted potatoes, cream cheese, balsamic reduction, and caramelized onions!) and the Sweetness (a classic pineapple and ham pizza that is the best blend of sweet and savory! The rooftop is my favorite spot to eat when the weather is nice because Hall’s has the best view of the city! The service is also a 10/10!
2. Fassler’s Hall
My heart (and stomach) belongs to Fassler’s- an American-German eatery with a huge selection of wines and spirits in the heart of OKC! The deck here also has an incredible view of downtown OKC and never disappoints! For the kiddos, there is a spot outside for games and corn hole, and for the adults and big kids, there is a bowling alley downstairs. My favorite order is the Haus Salad (feta, veggies, and mustard vinaigrette) and an order of Duck Fries (fried in duck fat and golden to perfection!) with two sides of the garlic aioli and BBQ sauce. Fassler Hall has been my go-to spot with my sister and we always have a good time!
3. Cafe Disco
This one is for my Office fans! Cafe Disco is located in downtown OKC and serves the tastiest macarons and craft coffee in the city! This summer, they created a macaron ice cream sandwich that I had the pleasure of trying before it launched and wow, let me tell you! I have been craving one for days! I tried the caramel ice cream sandwich and it sweet and nummy! They are big so you can absolutely share with someone or eat it yourself, like I did! Plus the Office memorabilia floating around the store is fun to find! The lemon and pistachio macarons are my personal favorites.
Calling all breakfast and brunch lovers! Aurora in OKC’s Plaza District is home to the most delicious French toast I have ever eaten! The environment is chill, relaxed, and cozy, and the staff is always welcoming and friendly, even on the busiest days. I love going here with my girlfriends before a shopping trip! The hardest part is trying to figure out what to order! The breakfast sammies on biscuits are huge and so satisfying! Aurora is the perfect place for Sundays with the girls!
5. The Collective: Kitchens and Cocktails
What’s better than a collection of restaurants that offer a taste of everything? Exactly! The Collective in Midtown OKC offers a host of dining options for every mood and craving! My pick is Phill Me Up cheesesteak and all of the mouthwatering goodness they dish up! In addition to Phill Me Up, there is Okie Pokie (poke bowls that are delicious!), Press Waffle Co. (it’s all in the name!), The Fried Taco (tacos!), Shaka(Hawaiin cuisine), Conley Coffee Co., Big Buns Bakery, and Edie’s Grill! The Collective is definitely the spot to be on a Friday night for dinner with friends!
If you’re in the mood for delicious food, OKC always has a place to go! Stay tuned for more OKC hot spots and digs!
One of the things I see all the time on Instagram and Pinterest are tips on how to make morning routines and daily routines happier or bring extra joy to them. I think as humans we are always looking for better things or how to increase our own happiness. Whether that’s making a cup of coffee in the morning before getting ready or spending 15 minutes of yoga in the morning, we are always looking for bigger and better. The past two years have been a lot, to say the least, and now more than ever we are on the hunt for making the best of our daily life. So here are five easy ways to increase your happiness every day. Small actions create big waves and change!
Buy flowers for your house!
I know it sounds odd, but this works! For the past month or so, I have made it a goal to have two bouquets of flowers in my house- one in my room and the other in a commonplace (I also buy these ones for my mom!). Having fresh flowers around has boosted my happiness because it adds beauty and they just make me feel better! I tend to buy a $5 small bouquet from Walmart and they last for right around 2 weeks!
2. Get some stuff to make your house smell good!
Candles are my love language! I always keep a candle burning while I’m in my room because it is so relaxing and my room smell so good! My current candle is Ocean Driftwood from Bath and Body Works and I love it. I also have a few wall plug in’s around my house to make it smell a little better! I have pets and let’s face it, they don’t always smell the best- especially when they come in from outside! Wallflower plugs from Bath and Body Works (my fave!) are under $10 and they last for a month at my house!
3. Drink more water!
Listen, I know! Water, water, water. It’s tasteless and people are always saying “drink more water, blah blah” but it’s true! I used to drink a glass of water maybe once a day and I’ve started to drink at least 3 water tumblers a day now. It still isn’t as much as I should be drinking but it is a start in the right direction. My secret is adding freshly cut lemon slices. It’s good for me and it makes water not tasteless! I feel better when I drink more water and it makes me a happier person when I am actually hydrated!
4. Do one thing for yourself a day!
Whatever that looks like for you, take the time to do it! Whether it’s taking a bath, getting a coffee, or watching an episode or two of your favorite show, make the time every day to treat yourself to it! Treating yourself to small joys adds happiness in your daily routine and no, it is NOT lazy to take time for yourself every day! You deserve it by getting through every day!
5. Talk to people!
Something I noticed, especially this past year, is that I am happier when I talk to friends. Even if it is one quick conversation with a friend via text, it makes my day better! I think that since 2019, we have regressed in relationships. We had to quarantine, were told to keep distance from people for our health, and it was a hard time. Making sure to keep in touch with people and getting together with friends in person now is a great way to have fun and keep healthy relationships!
I hope these little tips help you add a bit of goodness into your daily routine and I really encourage you to do at least one thing to increase your overall joy. You are worth taking time out of your day to devote for yourself!
I hope are staying safe and warm! If you are in a part of the country that is getting snow right now, I feel you! We started using our wood stove this past week because the heater went out, so that was fun! I know this trend has been around for a while but I wanted to do my take on a Day In the Life! My days are kind of jumbled right now because our university is doing online classes right now due to the weather being so icky, but we’re going with it anyway!
I tend to get up anywhere from 7:30-8:30 depending on the morning. Like most people, I grab my phone to turn off my alarm and then I stay on my phone for roughly half an hour before getting out of bed to get ready for the morning. A really cool tip I found out (I’m late to the party!) is setting my phone to the “Bed Time” mode on my clock. It sets me up to go to bed and turns my phone on Do Not Disturb and sets my regular alarm (7:30) automatically. If you have an iPhone, you’ve got to try this!
Get Those Teeth Brushed
I don’t know about you but the first things I do in the morning are brush my teeth and use the bathroom! My favorite toothbrush ever is the slim GLEEM power bush. I really feel like this helps clean my teeth better than with a manual toothbrush and it’s super easy to replace the brush heads and batteries when they run out and need to be changed! After my breath is all fresh and clean, I wash my face and moisturize! My current skincare routine I’m using is from Curology (*not sponsored) because I am desperately trying to get my skin to clear up! I’m using the trial sizes right now and my fingers are crossed that it works! If you have used Curology, let me know in the comments! Lastly, I quickly throw on some brows and eyeliner, and I’m good to go!
I’m a huge breakfast person and one of my favorite things about waking up is making a yummy breakfast! My simple and fast breakfast is scrambled eggs, toast, and a yogurt or fruit. It takes less than 15 minutes and it fills me up until lunch! Iced coffee comes next and all I do is pop a K-cup in my Keurig and add ice, Torani vanilla syrup, and a little bit of half and half for creamer. I eat my breakfast in bed (we don’t have a kitchen table lolz) and scroll through Insta stories while I’m nomming. Nothing too interesting!
Time To Work
By this point in my day, it’s around 8:45 AM and I set up with my laptop and notebooks. I’m trying to use my desk more but I’ve gotten into the bad habit of always working in bed and I tend to stay here all day. If you have tips on how to stay productive and get out of bed, please let me know! I have been having migraines and headaches more frequently so it’s easier to stay in bed and then take a quick break when I need to. Once I’m set up in bed, the first thing I do is check my emails. With the weather like it is, I’ve been on top of my emails way more than I have been in the past so I’m always looking to see if there are new updates with our campus.
I start my classes at 9 and then take care of homework in between classes. My afternoon isn’t as busy because my class ends at 2 so I tend to take a quick nap and then work on more projects and check my deadlines to make sure that I’m all set.
I like having my evenings free so I can watch Netflix or just relax. A few hours before bed, I like to set the mood in my room to be able to get some sleep. I light candles or incense and turn off bright lights. During the evenings I also like to study and get ready for any tests or quizzes I know are coming up. Making a list of things I will need to get done the next day is something I have started to do that helps keep me organized. After all that, I do my nighttime skin care routine and take a shower. Then I do it all the next day!
What does your daily routine look like? Let me know in the comments!
A new year always brings hopes for new beginnings and making resolutions. I don’t see making resolutions as a tacky thing because I feel like people are always wanting to grow and try to better themselves, and a new year is great motivation for healthy goals! Mine are centered around self care and learning how to love myself more than I ever have. A few of my posts this year have already been about self care and some fun little tips on how to improve, so I will have those linked in this post too!
Drinking More Water
I know right? How original! I don’t drink enough water daily and it definitely shows in my skin and overall how I feel. I get the majority of my water intake through coffee and even though I would like for it to count, I don’t think it does, haha. I have a few cute reusable water bottles to wash and then I’m carrying water with me everywhere I go!
Getting More Sleep
I do not get enough sleep! The majority of Americans don’t either, especially with the state of our country. I know I am worried about current events and it works its way into my sleeping schedule. Burning candles, diffusing oils, and wearing a sleep mask are things that help me sleep better at night! Make sure to blow out candles before you go to bed! For more tips on how to get a better night sleep, check out my latest post here!
Protecting My Peace
What does this mean? To me it means that I am protecting myself from things that are going to take away from my energy. This could be putting a barrier in a relationship for things that drain my energy or turning off the news when I begin to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to step back from the news when it takes over your emotions! If my family starts to stress me out or I begin to feel irritated, that’s a sign for me to distance myself and regroup my emotions so I don’t do/say something I don’t mean and that I will regret. Part of protecting my peace is also letting things go when I can. I like to consider the 48 Hour Rule when it comes to being angry. I take 48 hours to try to let things go and if I am still upset after that time has passed, I calmly approach the situation and have a conversation about my emotions.
Nourishing My Body
I don’t eat as well as I should. There, I said it. My goal is to eat better to fuel my body so that I feel my very best. I tend to not eat as much as I should depending on my mood. If I feel fat, I won’t eat as often as I need to. It’s not a healthy habit and I am trying to break it. My body is beautiful at any size and it deserves to be nourished.
What are some of your goals for 2021? Comment down below!
Holy moly, 2021 is just a week in and things are already absolutely insane. I did not expect things to kick off like they have and I’m sure that everyone in the United States (and the world) is feeling the stress and hurt we are currently facing. Hopefully starting in the end of January things will get better and we can all begin to treat each other with respect and have people who help lead up toward unison.
When I get stressed, my sleep gets all out of whack and I don’t feel like myself. A good sleep every night is necessary for me to feel my best and feel rested and I have had to work on protecting my sleep schedule. After going through many nights without sleep due to anxiety and stress, here is my list of things to do to get a good night sleep this year!
Stop Drinking Caffeine Around 6 Hours Before Bed!
Caffeine stays in your system for a long time so starting to ween off of it six hours before you go to sleep will help your body wind down and prepare for sleep. I tend to drink a coffee (or two) in the afternoon and it contributes to my health when I do that. My tip: drink more water! I know you hear it everywhere but water is good for you!
Try a Caffeine Free Tea
Sleepy Time tea is amazing and I love having it in my cabinet! My current evening tea is a berry and açaí blend that is caffeine free and tastes great hot or iced. I prefer sweeter teas because I tend to add sweeteners to tea but if it’s naturally sweet then I have it on its own.
When Stressed Out, Put on a Facemask
I literally just did a peel off mask because my skin is going through it and I had a long day. If that’s not a reason to use a face mask, I don’t know what is! I like to stock up when there are sales so keep your eyes peeled when Ulta is having sales! Their masks tend to be pretty affordable anyway, but sales are a great way to save a little coin! Brightening and hydrating masks are go-tos for when I need a pick me up for my face!
Light a Candle or Turn on an Oil Diffuser
Your bedroom should be a space for relaxation and sleep, plus a little fun! If your space is stressing you out, clean it up, get some new decor, and find a candle/oil that you love! When I moved into our new house, I had to create a new space that fit my emotional needs and my style profile. I bought new essential oils, candles, some wall accessories, all the things! We spend a lot of time in our bedrooms and it’s one of the most important spaces in our homes, so it deserves some love and attention! I like to shop at TJ Maxx and Hobby Lobby for decor options and they always have really good deals! For candles, Target has good 3 wick ones for under $5 and so does Walmart! My favorites are from Bath and Body Works but I’m cheap and don’t want to pay $25 per candle, so do what works for you!
Invest In a Sleep Eye Mask!
Let me tell you about wearing an eye mask! If you have thin eyelids, this is going to help you out! I have problems keeping my eyes closed when I try to go to sleep and even though I really love having twinkle lights in my room, they don’t always help when it comes to getting sleep. I purchased an eye mask at Tj Maxx for around $3 and I love it. It’s soft, helps keep out the light, and having a small amount of pressure honestly helps me sleep better. I don’t know if there’s science behind it or not but it works for me! There are a bunch of cute styles to pick from at shops, so there’s one for you! These are a few of my favorites online: A personalized mask on Etsy for under $10, a cute stripe mask from Ulta for under $3, and finally a simple satin mask from Etsy for under $5.
Try Some Calming Sounds
One of the new things I have been doing to calm down before going to bed is finding sleep sounds that help add a peaceful energy in my bedroom. I really like fireplace and storm/rain sounds, as they are soothing and remind me of comfort. I know a lot of people don’t like thunderstorm sounds so try the fireplace sounds! Nature sounds such as the ocean and waves are also super popular!
Find What Calms YOU
The most important thing to remember on your journey to finding better sleep is that what works for someone you know may not work for you and that’s OK! A lot of people would probably disagree with the fact that the Simpsons often help me fall asleep and then I turn off my TV in the middle of the night, and that’s okay! If you like sleeping with an extra light on, do that! As long as you are getting plenty of rest, do what is best for you! It takes some time to experiment and find what helps you.
I hope some of these lil tips help you find rest this year! Feel free to leave your own tips in the comments! I love reading through everything y’all say!
With this crazy year being almost at a close, it’s spurred me (and a lot of others!) to look at the year we had and see where we could use some room for improvement next year. While you may think that setting resolutions for the upcoming year are cliche and redundant, I find a sense of joy in the possibilities of a new beginning! Better self care is one of my resolutions for 2021 and I’ve thrown together some tips that I’ve learned to have a better self care routine!
Keep Skin Care Masks on Hand!
Face masks are one of my favorite ways to keep my skin in decent shape. I picked up a handful of masks a month ago when Ulta had a sale and I’m glad I did! Since Covid started in the US, the mask-ne (acne caused by wearing face masks) has been real and my skin hates me! Keeping skin care masks in my cabinet has been a great way to have a quick spa night and give my skin some help it needs!
Buy Yourself a Nail Kit for Pedis!
Trying to stay home as much as possible and save money are side effects of Covid for sure, and that also means skipping nail appointments. I tend to wear press on nails from Kiss (find my favorites here) but I love getting pedicures! I picked up some supplies while I was at Ulta and my feet have been happy happy since I started using them regularly! To have an amazing pedicure I start with a foot mask then follow up with a file, scrub, and then finally a pair of socks and heel repair lotion. With winter taking a toll on my skin, the heel repair has definitely helped keep them presentable! After my feet are all moisturized, I paint my toes and call it a day!
Get Some Books To Grow Your Mind!
I can’t tell you how many books I have picked up to help me expand my mind, learn how to manifest my dreams, and help grow a healthy mind place for myself. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin is one of my current favorites that I am reading. It helps asks the question “What do I want from life?” and that’s something I ask myself almost every day. The Happiness Project is a fun read that I love to sit down with in coffee shops with. My second read of the moment is Mindfulness: How To Pay Attention The the Present by Wendy Hobson. It presents different ways to practice mindfulness, such as meditation. Mindfulness runs the reader through the ABCs of practicing mindfulness.
Find a Good Podcast or Playlist!
One thing that has helped me get through good times and bad is music. There’s a playlist for when I am happy, sad, or need a little boost of confidence. Spotify is my favorite music and podcast app, and it’s free to sign up! I have the Premium membership (ps college students: you can get a discount for Premium!) so I am constantly listening to music while I drive, cook, or take a shower. For podcasts, I love listening to educational shows! Stuff You Missed In History Class, Medical Murders, and TED are my favorite podcasts that I keep in rotation. TED has so many different episodes on topics that range from politics to lifestyle. If you are looking to learn a new language during quarantine, Duolingo has podcasts on Spotify, too!
Binge a New Show!
Sib, find a new show to watch or rewatch a favorite! I was gifted the Sex and the City series so I have been watching that since the holidays. A good chunk of us are still staying home so yes, it is perfectly fine to watch TV! If you are on Netflix, a few of my favorites are The Tudors, Orange Is the New Black, and Big Mouth. There’s a show for everyone and there are plenty of things for your kiddos! I’m trying to use screen time as an additional education source so I have been saving documentary titles as well!
I hope that 2021 brings blessings and joy for you (and me!)! We all could use a little spark in our lives and I wish that we can all start seeing each others smiling faces next year, without masks, but we can only hope. My email is always open if you want to drop a line or reach out!
I know we still have a few weeks left to 2020 and I am so grateful to hopefully have a year that is better than the one we had this year. We have all been hit in some way or another by the hardships that 2020 pitched at us, and somehow we made it to where we are now. On the brink of a new year, there’s the hope that things start in a merrier fashion than how our 2020 started. I wanted to write this for a few reasons. Firstly, I wanted to be able to look back and see how far I made it, even though I currently don’t feel as though I’ve made it far at all. Secondly, I hope this is able to prompt you to review your own 2020 experience and see how far you have come!
A preface for this post: this is my story and me talking about my year. Mental health has been an immense part of my year, so if this isn’t for you, please go check out my previous post!
Let’s get into it!
January: holy moly. It was exciting to start a new year! I had just reconnected in a relationship and had high hopes for things working out. I turned in my notice at my job so I could go to school and work as a CNA. My parents were getting more serious about moving, and my stress and anxiety were starting to team up on me.
February: February was a really good month for me. While I was still worried with the potential of having to move (spoiler alert: I moved), I was making friends in my healthcare classes and was offered two jobs once I left the class. I was scared, but I took the jump.
March: this is where things turned. My anxiety started to creep up and I lacked confidence in my new job. I loved the people I looked after but the environment wasn’t my favorite. On top of that, I had started looking for places with my former partner and that added more stress at home.
April: work was starting to be more of an anxiety producer than I could handle and I turned in my resignation. My partner and I were hitting rocks and I was looking for places on my own. Call it divine intervention or the universe’s plan to begin implementing something better, but I ended up moving. At the end of April, my partner and I closed the chapter on our relationship and I was getting ready to pack up and move.
May: this was the worst month. My parents closed on our old home (my favorite home) and we stayed in two extended stay hotels while they figured out the deal on our new house. It wasn’t an easy process but we moved in during the middle of May. I almost moved back to my hometown after a successful job interview but once again, the universe said no. That one was most definitely a blessing. My depression was the worst it has ever been, much to the chagrin of 15 year old me who thought life was over in high school. I cried more than I had in years, I clung to whoever would talk to me, and I hated life.
June: I tried coming to terms with my new living situation but I was still struggling. I wasn’t happy, my mental health was at an all time low, and I felt completely lost. I put in countless job applications and after a solid month of not finding anything, I made the decision to go back to school. I tried college in 2018 and hated it, so I was hesitant and scared to start again.
July: the application process for my new university went fast, everything fell into place, and I was accepted into my dream school. During this month, I started seeing patterns in certain areas in life and tried to protect my peace and energy. That attempt failed and I continuously struggled with my mental health. Most of the moving boxes had finally been unpacked from my room and I tried my best to make a new safe space for myself.
August: this month was a fresh start. I fell in love with being in college and was so excited to feel like I might belong somewhere. This was where I first started to determine which cups poured into me and which ones didn’t. My anxiety was still a monkey on my back and depression trailed behind as always.
September & October: both of these months were blended together. I learned a lot about myself and I truly sought out peace. My therapist was a saving grace and helped me work through big potholes. COVID took the biggest emotional toll on me these months. I was tired of not going anywhere and seeing everyone else around me going out. I was jealous but I also valued my health and tried to find ways to be happy and productive at home, as most of us have done since beginning quarantine.
November: a month focused on recognition, thankfulness, and forgiveness. November kind of sucked. I started feeling at home in my new city but still felt out of place. I felt alone and I started depending on myself more as my own best friend.
December: so far this month has been okay. I passed my finals and made amazing grades in my classes. I never thought I would be able to do that. Now I am trying to focus on renewal and making sure I protect my peace and energy first. If it doesn’t bring me joy, I don’t do it. If they don’t pour into me, I don’t pour myself into them. I’ve spent so much of my life taking care of others first and making sure my energy was focused on them. Now my energy is going to me.
With all of the death, depression, hardships, and emotional struggles we have faced in 2020, somehow we made it past all of it. You and I are here today to tell our stories, help others, and learn more lessons about ourselves. Because of 2020, we have seen the best and worst sides of people. I have never seen more selfish displays than I have in my entire life. I learned patience, resilience, and I am still trying to learn how to love myself. It’s a hard journey. Trying to get in a good spot with mental health is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I have to do it for myself, and you have to do it for yourself. If someone doesn’t pour into you as much as you do them, reevaluate your situation. If you are unhappy with how things are going in your life, what are you doing to try to improve them? You are so much stronger than you realize!
As Moira Rose would say, “Don’t let the bastards get you down!”